Remember that the chemically-addled person is more like you than you think. Though chemistry can be stupid, it also has its reasons. Wisdom begins with humble dependence on the Giver of Wisdom. In fact, that is when godly wisdom begins its work. (Yes, it is sort of like treating an addiction).īut godly wisdom isn’t intimidated when we are at the end of ourselves. Tackle the victims, tie them down, bring in a hundred witnesses to scream at and berate them, send them to boarding school-these are all fine ideas. I have yet to find anything that neutralizes it.
What should we do when a loved one is overwhelmed by that chemical-combustion-mistaken-as-love? Here is one answer: I don’t know. I have known people who married without any chemistry, and then, later, there was chemistry-but it was for someone else, and they renounced their marriage vows. But shouldn’t we expect that a marital partner is affected by-is moved by, feels something because of-the other person? And if chemistry connects to an interest in sex, then we would hope that there is some chemistry in every marriage. Do you encourage marriage when there is no chemistry? Perhaps. Occasionally, chemistry gets it right and we make a wise relational decision, but some people win the lottery too. But its presence tells you to say “yes”-even to a person who will guarantee a difficult relationship. Lack of chemistry tells you to say “no” to a person who otherwise seems so suited to you. More often than not, chemistry also means, “I am interested in a sexual relationship with that person.” It typically means that you feel something when you are with or even think about the other person. What is chemistry? It depends on the context. Then all she could think was, “What have I done?”Ĭhemistry, masquerading as love, is stupid. Something happened while they were driving away from the reception that cured her disease.
Somehow, the stupidity lasted until the wedding ceremony and maybe a few hours after, which is the natural progression of stupid love. They were married a few months later, separated within a year, divorced within two. I think I inserted a few prayers for pre-wedding catastrophe-things like global flooding-that would keep them from getting to the church. It was also when I awoke to the stupidity of love. It was the first time I was asked to do premarital counseling. What was this intelligent woman thinking?! This guy was so wrong for her! Everyone else could see it! Why couldn’t she? Topics: Love, Marriage, Premarital, Relationships